Depression, Anxiety, Sleeplessness = MEDS
I went home and the symptoms wouldnt subside, than this morning I called the doctor and shortly after that I sat in his office.
We talked for a little while and he thinks that I am very depressed and suffer again from Anxiety.
I told him everything that’s been going on like…I love the job, but it is very stressful, I work loads of overtime, the issues with my son, cant make it to church like I want to. I told him that since we moved into the house I dont feel like cleaning anymore (well that happened prior to that), I don’t feel like cooking, I cant sleep, and if I fall asleep I wake up every hour. It bothers me that I cant kick my cigarette addiction and that I am overweight. Which he agreed that I am very obese.
But life cant go on like this. Like I said I love the house, I love my husband, I love my job…so I ask why does this happen to me now?? Not even the doctor has an answer to that. Only thing he said, I stress over work related things, and of course the loss of my son, the not been able to see my mom, and bills.
Isn’t it weird though…I dislike when my house looks like crap, but I am unable to clean it? Its like I got to clean it, and when I look at it, it overwhlems me to a point that it paralyzes me and i dont do nothing. Which than becomes a vicious cycle!
I guess I am crazy!
Honestly if I could I would hire someone to come to the house in the evening and clean it for me for a few hours, but this is out of the question right now.
Maybe thats why I in one of my last posts actually talked about feeling alone and left out. The depression was already there but I hadnt recognised it yet.
Alright, I do feel a bit better after venting 
Andrea
My husband…what can I say
My husband’s birthday was this passed Sunday, and we decided that the gifts we give eachother will be somehow also for the house.
So since we have a upcoming BBQ, and we only have a small charcoal grill, I purchased him a gasgrill!
Sounds great doesn’t it?
Well, I purchased the grill at Wal-MArt and the guy offered me to assemble it, but I had the forsight that it wil not be a good idea to let my husband drive the assembled grill home I declined because it would’ve taken 3 days.
So when my husband got up for work on Sunday I told him come to thr truck and get your gift off of the truck (in a abox).
He said ” Do you see it says on the label free assembling?”
Uhmmm “YES!”
“But I wanted to have your gift on your birthday and not three days later”
And I didnt think that I actually buy a grill on the day of your birthday and had no other ideas
Yeah, thats right (we can blame them!)
So, yesterday he drove to Wal-Mart to pick up the assembled grill.
He was gone fro a long time, and I wondered if he put up a “hotdog stand” outside of Wal-Mart. I mean he is in love with his weedeater, why not the grill, right?
Well not so………….
He said ” you not gonna believe this….as I drove home, alloversudden the grill started wobbling in the back and next thing you know it tumbled over and out the truckbed!!!”
I couldn’t believe it!
So he gets home, and this is how it looks like……….
He was upset, I was not upset. Honestly I am used to it!
Now this is worthy a praise, cause even though the employee loaded it, my husband was there and shouldve thought of either tie it to the truck or lay it flat.
But on the other hand, how many guys does it take to load a grill properly onto a truck??
Andrea
Feeling down and left out
I should be so happy right now.
After years of just surviving, I am now able to live a better live.
My job is great, I am on top of all their “stack ranking” I am on top of my team, in all objects, top of “pay 4 performance”, everything at work looks really really great. But I feel so left out in my personal life.
My husband works his buns off and so do I, so we dont see each other that much. Church I havent been in a long time, because of my work schedule.
I have only one friend from Church who consistently calls me and checks up what I am doing. I tried to set up a BBQ at my house, but for some reason it doesnt seem to get off the ground.
Perhaps because I havent been in Chruch?
Slowly but surely I feel like I am forgotten, people moved on with their busy lives, and so did the Church.
Of course than I get the responses “Well you can call too”. Perhaps I am not the person who does well with “first steps”. Perhaps I have to learn that, but it wont be now!
I just know how I feel, and I feel not being a part of anything. All meetings and get togethers are on Thursdays,Saturdays, so I cant attend. It is very hard to get a weekend off at my job.
I just needed to vent today!!!
My husband is a loner, so he is not affected as I am. He likes been by himself. I on the other hand, love having people around, talking on the phone, etc..
My prayer right now is that I find a church that has a evening service on Sunday’s. Now that would be to cool! Probably not happening but it would be wonderful.
This post is not meant to offend anyone from my Church, it is only how I feel and see things lately!
The Lord is still directing my path, and that will NEVER change no matter what.
I am so much closer lately because He is all I have to talk to, and to cling on. I praise Him still after each and every phonecall at work. I dont care if it was a good or a bad call, I praise Him constantly. He is so good to me.
Everywhere I turn, I see the Lord’s work before me, and I am in awe what He has done for me and my husband. And I am still on working on my husband to get him back to where he should be with the Lord. But he still has a hard time with it.
When we spoke the other day about the goodness of God and Judgement day, he said to me “
Andrea, if your God is so good, and you go and spent eternity with Him…and it is all true about all unbelievers go to Hell….and that you will know your family members and friends and loved ones in Eternity…..how will that work with me and you?”
I said, “What do you mean?”
He said ” Well, if I go to hell, how will you be without tears and pain in Heaven when you see me going down?”
Good question I said “I dont know!”
So I do need pastoral help to help my husband at least. I don’t have the answers for some questions he asks!!
Well, I vented, so whoever reads this…dont beoffended, this isnt meant as an offense, it is from my heart, my thoughts, my feelings.
Blessings to all
Andrea
A Man and his Powertools
I just snapped a few pics of my husband today. He got himself this weedeater yesterday and he is in loooove with it!
As long as he keeps the yard looking like that, I wont mind this other “lady”…HAHAHA
I had to ask him, if he dreamed of the tool last night. He got up early today just to use the tool! Unbelievable!!!
Furniture
Hello Friends,
just had to post this update.
The diningroom set is ready to be viewed! It isn’t completely done. I havent put all the stuff in it yet. But you get the picture!
Do you think it is nice???
About Muffler’s and Dining Rooms
I had a very good day today, even though at first it didn’t look like it will be a great day!When I drove to work last night, I kept hearing a noise from my car, but I was on the interstate so I couldn’t pinpoint it. When I arived at my job’s parking lot, I clearly could tell it is somewhere either in the exhaust pipe or the muffler.
I knew right than I need it fixed, because I will not drive to work 35 miles and get stuck in the middle of the night on the interstate.
So I went to my manager and asked for a days vacation for today, it was right away approved.
Than this morning my husband called a few muffler shop’s and the prices on the phone were anywhere from $ 150.00 dollars to way above it.So I went to the shop who gave us the lowest price which was $ 150.00 dollars. I took my Bible since I thought I will have to sit there a long time and wait on the car to be repaired!
I started to read, and here comes the technician and he called me in to go with him to look under my car. He explained and showed me a little part of the exhaust pipe that was very rusted and he said this piece was put on a while ago and it had worn out. I asked “So what am I looking at, pricewise?”
He said “$ 35.00 dollars”
WOOHOO….way better than I expected!!!
The shop is on Williamson Rd. in Roanoke, and it was very clean, he worked really fast and it was really a good price. See he could’ve told me any price ( I have no clue about car’s), but he was honest, a very honest business man. He told me that he had to lay off all his employess in the past three years because of the economy been so down, and that he cant afford to keep employees at this time. And I saw there were only one car to be repaired besides mine and that was a break job.
And still the man was honest and ddint overcharge me even though he easily could have.
Praise God for an honest Man!
If any one reads this and is in need of car repair, here is the address to his shop
Lew’s Muffler and Brakes
4009 Williamson Rd,
Roanoke, VA
# 540-563-5564
I highly recommend him!!! 5*****Than after that I thought hmmm I am going to go and see what out thrift store “The Rescue Mission” has for sale.
I been looking and praying to find a diningroom set that looks good and is affordable.
And didn’t you know it, I walked in and they were packed with furniture, and one china cabinet was facing me, and I thought WOAH that is pretty. I saw the price $ 195.00 dollars, and I almost turned away when I saw the little note ” 8-piece set” and “50% off”
So I asked a Sales person if the $ 195.00 are already included the 50% off, or if they will take 50% off of the $ 195.00 dollars. And yes I paid $ 97.50 for an 8-piece diningroom set all wood, nicely made with three extra leafs for the table, 6 chairs with high backs, and a china cabinet with 3 layers of glas and three doors on the bottom, and light in the glas part.
You would’ve paid easily in a store hundreds of dollars for it.Praise God, because he knows I wanted a set just like that, and I looked in many stores and the price are not affordable for us. I never dreamed of finding a set like that in our thrift store. I check there regularly for anything, and I almost set my expectations way lower about a set, but thankfully God didnt let me purchase just anything, he taught me to wait for THIS set.
So, this day was great, I had a vacation day, got my car taken care of, and found a beautiful set for our diningroom!!!I will put a picture here when I have it all set up, but that will take a little time. Right now I don’t even have it here, my husband will pick it up tomorrow morning. Hopefully we will be able to get the china cabinet in the house, cause it is only me and him, and it sure looks like that it is a heavy piece. We will see
Well, now I go back and read more about Isaiah and his prophesies!
Blessings to all
Andrea
Anniversary
Guess to what I woke up today???
My husband changed so much since we he got older ! He is so much more thoughtful. He used to pass by any anniversary, and he could’ve cared less for mine or his birthday, but he surprised me today with this bouquet of orange roses.
Don’t know why he chose orange, but they are very very pretty. Just to bad that they will quickly die, sine it is so warm here right now. From this morning to now when I took the picture they completly opened up. So you know it wont be long and the petals will drop.
Me on the other hand who always looked out for birthdays and anniversaries skipped it this year. Why you ask????
Well I didn’t think of it, I am just working lately and that’s all I do. It totally slipped my mind. But I can not forget his birthday that will be soon, actually in 2 weeks. I have no idea what I could get him, but I will have to think of something???
Now to other not so news. Work is still very busy and very late. I work overtime like there is no tomorrow. What can I say they have to good of incentives not to work overtime. Like last week …if you worked four hours over they gave us a $ 50.00 dollar bonus.
And now they have an incentive if you work at least 32 hours within the next 8 weeks, they will give us a $160.00 dollar gasoline card. And every hour you work over these 32 hours they add another $5.00 on top of it. And I figured I will probably work 70 hours in that timeframe. At least that is wghat I am planning on doing.
I love the job, you get great calls and not so good ones, and than you get a lot of funny ones. Like ….why is my picture black? And you figure out they never even turned their TV set on. Yeah those are good calls.
But you learn everyday. You just never know who is on the other end and what their problem is all about!
My grandson was here with his Mommy last week and we had a fun filled two hours. His little hands are everywhere now. We had a veggie tray and some grapes and he loves gapes, however he doesnt love the “red” grapes to much…lol You should’ve seen his face when he bit into a tomato. LOL
From my son I havent hear dor month’s and all I know about him I hear from other’s. Supposedly he left the state and moved to Colorado, but like I said..I don’t know. I only know that he not want to talk to me, and I leave it at that!
I hope that I am able to write more soon sometime
Blessings to all
Andrea
