What an awful picture of a Christian I am!
It just came to me a few moments ago.
I been reading a little book called ” Because of the Cross” and there is one part well read it yourself…………..
I can love others.
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love;
give preference to one another in honor; not lagging
behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord.
-Romans 12:10, 11
Love is most divine when it loves according to needs, and not according to merit.
- George MacDonald
The love we have for our spouses, children, parents, families, and friends is often a love based on who they are , what they mean to us, and how they make us feel. The Cross changes that love. It becomes a deeper, unconditional love that loves even when those we are closest to hurt us or make mistakes. It loves at all times….in all things…regardless of how we feel.
Because of the Cross we can have that same love for others who touch our lives, often from a distance.
We can love the ungrateful, the unfair, the unjust, the imprisoned, the lonely, the homeless, the liar, the cheater, the thief, the murderer, the abuser, the adulterer, the addict, the disgruntled, the opinionated, the unlovely, the unloved.
Only through the Cross is it possible to love…and be loved…unconditionally!
I can’t !
I can love all the above, but I can’t show love for my son anymore.
Perhaps way deep down I love him, in a place I don’t want to go right now. But I don’t want to be around him, I don’t want to hear from him, I don’t want to see him.
Honestly at this moment I don’t care where he is, or what he is doing!
This is horrible news to me. I NEVER thought I would feel this way.
How can this be possible?
How can I say “I AM A CHRISTIAN” and don’t show the fruit of love?
Doesn’t it say somewhere in the Bible……..” if they hit you on one cheek, let them hit you on the other side too?” Something like this. Or “something about the 77 times?”
Well I know all you who read this, you know what I am talking about.
So explain to me, what is wrong with me.
Heavenly Father help me. Help me to get closer to you. Help me to forgive my son, as you forgave us.
Lord what is the matter with me. How can I say I am a Christian, and I don’t bare no fruit? Yes I read your Word daily very often, but I hardly apply it to my life. I don’t want to live like this any longer Lord. You can change me! I am here Lord, take hold of me and work a mighty work in me and through me.
My greatest fear when I started to believe was that I am a fake. And for a while I believed that I am not fake. But with the latest events in my life, it brings back those same old thoughts about been fake. I do not want to walk in the darkness, I want to walk in the light ALWAYS!
Oh, Lord reveal to me how I can change!
In Jesus Name
Amen
Jennifer Blugerman said,
February 26, 2008 at 6:03 pm
Andrea, take heart. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that we allow people to take advantage of us or abuse us. Would you say to a woman whose husband was beating her to just forgive him? She should get out of that relationship because it is harmful to her physical and emotional health. She can forgive him, but that doesn’t mean she allows the behavior to continue! Christ said to the woman caught in adultry, “Your sins are forgiven… now go and sin no more.” He didn’t just say, “Your sins are forgiven.” You can forgive Hans, but that doesn’t mean that you allow him to abuse you! God disciplines those He loves. There are consequenses for Han’s behavior, one of which may be that you don’t have anything to do with him until he can prove that he has changed. That’s going to take a while if it happens at all. We must be, “Wise as serpents but gentle as doves” and continue to pray for Hans.
Love,
-Jennifer
heaintthroughwithmeyet said,
February 26, 2008 at 7:04 pm
You are so right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I elaborated more in an email to you g/f.
Love Andrea
faithwalk said,
February 27, 2008 at 11:00 am
Andrea, your friend Jennifer had words of wisdom for you there. From what you’ve shared Hans has some serious issues right now and there are times it is best to say I love you but can’t be around you right now. There is a place for “tough love” because if you enable him then you contribute to the problem.
You are human, forgiveness is divine. It will come in time as you draw close to Jesus and let Him heal your heart. You’ve a long way in your journey with Christ and the enemy would like nothing better than to paralyze you with doubt and condemnation. Tell him to take a hike and then ignore him, focus your thoughts on Jesus, develop a pattern of “taking every thought captive “, speak the Word of God over your and Hans lives, declare the goodness and faithfulness of the LORD!
As you Thank and praise and him in all things ( even when you really don’t feel like it ) it’s amazing how these simple things begin to turn things around. Even if not outwardly at first, you will be changed within.
Andrea, I know you’re not a fake, but have a heart that seeks after the Lord Jesus. Be encouraged and strengthened in His love and grace. We’ve been through some hard stuff with our older kids and at first it was devastating.
I was so sad, then severely depressed; then angry, then came to a place of letting go; drawing close to the Lord, letting Him wash away my fear and guilt and shame… soothing my troubled soul with His peace.
The Holy Spirit is our Comforter, counselor and friend.
Draw upon His grace,
when you stumble, reach up and take His outstretched hand! He is with you, even to the end of the Age!
In Jesus love, grace and hope,
Susan
faithwalk said,
February 27, 2008 at 11:02 am
That should have read you’ve COME a long way in your journey with Christ!
Oh how one little word can change the meaning entirely.
Sorry about that!
momlovesbeingathome said,
February 27, 2008 at 12:00 pm
Andrea, sorry I wasn’t able to get here sooner as you’d asked. You’ve already received the best advice possible by these two before me though.
I agree completely with what they’ve said.
Brigitte (minikid) said,
February 28, 2008 at 5:12 am
Hi,Andrea,
wieder ich, habe jetzt mal diesen Beitrag von dir richitg gelesen. Und wenn ich das richtig verstanden habe fragst du dich, wie du dich Christin nennen darfst, wenn du (im Augenblick zumindest) deinen Sohn nicht lieben kannst.
Andrea, du bist ein Mensch mit Gefühlen wie jeder andere auch. Und du bist MUTTER, so wie viele andere auch.Wir Mütter haben - glaube ich wenigstens - alle das gleiche Problem: wir lieben unsere Kinder - egal welche Macken sie haben und was sie auch immer tun.
NUR, und das solltest du dir bitte vor Augen halten: auch wir Mütter kommen irgendwann einmal an den Punkt wo wir uns sagen: BIS HIERHIN UND NICHT WEITER. >Mein Kind, ich liebe dich - und gerade WEIL ich dich liebe, ist nun Schluss!!!!<
Ich glaube, wir haben unsere Wangen mehr als einmal hingehalten - und ich glaube auch, dass niemand uns böse sein wird oder uns verurteilt wenn wir die Notbremse ziehen.
Denn DIE müssen wir ziehen um nicht selber kaputt zu gehen. Und das ist auch nicht (da galube ich jedenfalls dran) von Gott so gewollt, dass wir immer nur leiden und nichts sagen oder aufmucken dürfen.
Jennifer hat es ganz toll formuliert - und ich glaube, sie meint das (oder ähnlich), was ich auch geschrieben habe.
Also, Andrea, halt bitte die Öhrchen steif, gib nicht auf und vor allem nicht nach - zumindest JETZT nicht. Irgendwann (und diese Hoffnung gebe ich auch bei meinem Sohn nicht auf) werden unsere Kiddies wissen, was sie an uns haben und sich besinnen und hoffentlich auch ändern. Und dann sollten wir auch verzeihen können und einen Neustart wagen.
In diesem Sinne, Gott segne dich und auch deinen Mann.
Ganz liebe Grüße von Brigitte (minikid)
timbob said,
February 28, 2008 at 9:49 am
Greetings. Jennifer and Susan have indeed approached offered advice in a better fashion than I could. Such battles leave us realizing that we need Jesus every hour because the situation is simply “beyond us.” To just keep them in prayer and know that God is doing a work in their heart. I’ve know of many instaces where people came to jesus because someone had spent years keeping them in prayer.
Thanks for stopping by earlier. I’m still running behind as always, but trying to catch up.
Have a blessed day in Jesus.
timbob
Jes said,
February 28, 2008 at 9:59 am
AMEN to the above posts! Andrea - you are not a fake. The very fact that you are seeking Jesus when you feel alone and desperate is testimony of the Holy Spirit working in you! Those who don’t know Him, don’t crave fellowship with Him the way that you do! Jennifer is right in what she says about Hans…We are praying for you - that God’ s goodness and mercy will appear new and fresh to you today.
Love you-
Jess