HeAintThroughWithMeYet

My husband and I are tired of paying rent for a townhouse and we are not able to find peace. He is always not rested enough and he needs his sleep, because his job is VERY demanding physically.

So yesterday after I got off from work at 4pm we went to a look at some modular and doublewide homes. The store should be open till 6pm on Saturday’s we got their at 5:15pm and they were already closed.

Needless to say we weren’t happy because now we have to find another day that works with our work schedules to look at a place like that.

On the way home we decided we go out for a “real” dinner. Which we haven’t done in I think 3 years.

We both never been to the “Outback Steakhouse”, so that’s where we went. IT was delicious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I even drank a draft beer. It was funny, my husband drinks a coke and I had a beer…hah

At dinner I  felt that someone is calling my cell phone (It is on vibrate), but I didn’t pick it up and thought who ever it is can wait!
After dinner my hubby went to the bathroom and I checked the message. First of all it was on my caller-ID as “Private” so I would’ve not picked it up anyway’s. They left a message…………..

When we got to the car I called my voicemail and checked it. It was from my son!

The message said this……………

“Mom, I am sorry that I ended our last call with F*** you! But I had a really bad day. I am really sorry and I wanted you to know that Heather and I broke up because she found someone else. Well I am near your house and miss a warm meal. <from the heart crying> I LOVE YOU”

Of course I am his mother and even though he did lot’s of things to me and said lot’s of lies and trash about me, I am still his mother……RIGHT????????????????

So we got home, and I got really ticked off that this girl Heather started all that bad behavior back in him. He did good until he met her. So, I text messaged her….I wrote………

ME: So u got someone else and toss Hans to the curb! What a wonderful christian u r

HER: Well actually i dared him to tell u that. i said he didnt have the balls to do it. but i guess he does   lol

ME: Said what? Is he with u or not? Thats all i need to know

HER: we are really married.  i wouldnt do that

ME: So he is with you? I just want to know the truth. I cant go to bed and think my son is wandering the street

HER: Andrea he is with me and happy

Can someone explain to me, why MY son and his wife (believe girlfriend) would do that to me?
Why anyone would do that to somebody?
How sick are they?
This is not a dare, this is making me sick!

It took me a while to text message to her. I believed wholeheartedly what he said on my voicemail and expected him to show up. So I waited, but he didn’t show up. I was worried about him. And yes I wasn’t going to let him live here anymore because of all the things he has done in his past to me, his own son,my husband, and the mother of his son. Lot’s and lot’s of things!
But I was going to let him spend the night and explain to him that the next day I will take him to a place here in town where he can stay and get his live together without hurting me or anyone else.

Can you imagine the shock I had when I found out that this was all “just a dare”?

I went to church this morning……….

the sermon was great even though our Pastor didn’t preach. After church I tried to talk to my Pastor about what had transpired in the passed 24  hours. Well he tried to talk to me, but other people came and started talking to him, and after a little while I just left.

I am glad I have this blog where I can vent, but I really needed a person today to give me some response. Something.

But I left and I was alone, as always I had to pull myself together and “getoverit”

I don’t know how long I emotionally can deal with these things. It seems everyone thinks “she is fat=she must be strong” And NO I am not strong anymore.

I am frustrated, unhappy, lonely, my husband works and sleeps (I understand he does work hard). I just don’t have nobody. At work the same thing.

All I have is the Lord, and honestly I can have him here in my house with me. I don’t need to drive to a church to talk to him and pray to him. I do this here all the time. All the bible studies in my church are on times when I have to work. So all there is is Sunday.

I am not certain what I will do next, but something has to give, because if I don’t change some things I will feel worse.

Enough with the rambling

I still wish you all a nice evening
Andrea