HeAintThroughWithMeYet

I am frustrated with everything.

Ok, before I worked partime as a cashier, had a hardtime making ends meet. But I went to church regularly, attended almost all of our Biblestudy group sessions. You know I was involved, there, letting God’s grace fall on me, shining on me.
And I loved it.
But did have a money issue since I didnt work many hours. Than came the switch to fulltime. Now I havent attended ONE single Biblestudy session, I hardly if ever go to church. Either because I came home real from from work, or I have to get up at 3 in the morning to be early at work. Or I am just to wore out to get up and move around from work.
See, my whole life changed and it is consumed by my job!

Is it worth it???
I dont think so!

So, yesterday I went to my boss and I put in an application of time change (availability). He wasn’t happy about it, and explained to me…………”You probably will lose hours!”
it wasnt that PROBABLY, because as soon as I got home I received a call from my coworker and she explained that they openend a requisition to hire new people for my job!

Well I put out four apps this morning with other companies.

So I am asking you all to really pray for me on this one. That the Lord our God will open a door for me. That he will let me find a job that pays sufficiently, and that especially the hours are so that I can get back into the swing of things in church, biblestudy, etc.

I miss my sunday mornings getting up meeting and greeting everyone at church. I miss seeing my pastor preaching and him being able to visualise for me the things to come. I miss the biblestudy group to learn about God. I miss all my brother’s and sister’s in Christ. I miss everything that goes with it.
AND……..I want to go back into the Word. I know I am lacking on everything and it is true you need to be fed. Your soul and spirit needs nourishment, and mine doesn’t get nothing. My Spirit is on a Zero diet.

I can’t do this much longer, I am withering away like a little flower in the field.

Please Lord, help me to find my way back! Open doors for me to step  into a new beginning.

I know my Redeemer will make changes for me. I am going to sit back and wait as I usually do.

On my diet SIS I am doing. I am still on it. Had a few slips but overall still losing weight consistantly. Below you see my new tracker. This I think is the easiest part of my life getting rid of those pounds. I am not missing anything when it comes to this.

We had to purchase a new computer this passed week. Trust me, it wasnt in my plans, but my old one crashed. It only brought up a blue screen…..and it said…”Fatal System Error” I tried to revive it for hours, but it never got further than the blue screen.
The problem was that I  am in the middle of this little sidejob of translating and without a pc it wasn’t possible. So even though we don’t have money for extra things like that, we had to do it. I hope in the long run it was a good investment.

Anyways, from all this missing church, biblestudy, talking to people that believe in the same God as I do. I am depressed, and physically not well. My feet ache as never before, my back is on a low point, I can hardly sleep a night through.
Constantly under stress. I can’t do this no longer. If it means losing hours, I think thats what needs to be.
But with God’s grace I will get back to where I was!!!

“For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant youto be strenghtened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith-that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.
Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations forever and ever.” AMEN
Ephesians 3:14-21

Until next time, praise God from whom all Blessings flow

Andrea