HeAintThroughWithMeYet

Below you can read about the lady I worked with at Wal-Mart. She always sat in the smoking/breakroom with us and she was one of the friendliest ladies in the store. She was a woman that didnt mind cutting her break short so she can sell me some meat itmes. I cant say enough good things about her. And than I hear on the news about a lady that was found shut to death at her home. Next news report talked about that the suspect is in custody and it is her husband.

I cant believe what this world is coming to. Why cant you file for a divorce or something? Why do you have to kill someone just to get your way?

I am seriously in shock about this.
In my humble opinion he will use mitigating circumstances like in ” the heat of the moment” or something like that. And after a few years he is able to roam the streets again. But this friendly Lady will be nomore.

She filed for divorce not to long ago, because he is so controling someone said. Well now we know how controling he really was, dont we?
 

 Roanoke Times Newspaper

By Annie Johnson

 Thomas White. A Vinton man has been charged with killing his wife, according to Vinton police.

Thomas White, 57, is believed to have shot Delores White, 52, in the head during what police believe was a domestic dispute turned violent. Around 4:15 p.m. Wednesday Vinton police responded to the single family ranch home at 516 Ruddell Rd. to make a well-being check at the request of a family member. Delores White was found dead with a gun shot wound to the head.

Thomas White has been charged with first degree murder and use of a firearm in the commission of a felony.

The Vinton neighborhood was quiet this morning except for a few barking dogs. There were no visible signs that a crime had occurred at the home, where a white Pontiac Sunfire sat idle in the gravel driveway. Thomas White’s arraignment will be a 1 p.m. today at the Roanoke County General District Court. The investigation is ongoing.

REST  IN   PEACE    DEDE

Well guys it has been a couple of days since I posted last.

I am very busy at work learning and applying the newly learned tasks. Today for example I was sitting for about two hours on the computer at work. I have to say I like the new job. But it is still new so I have to wait and see in longterm.

My husband still isnt doing much better.

My mother went this morning into the hospital for another throat cancer surgery. She is scheduled for surgery tomorrow and I must admit even though I pray constantly I am a bit afraid for her right now. She is 78 and fragile. The last time they did that surgery she had severe complications, and we are both afraid that this happens again, and who knows the outcome but our Father.
So please, everyone who reads this, please pray for my mom her name is Sonja!

Yesterday my husband was off from work and my son too, and we spend the evening together that happens very seldom. My son invited us for cheesesteak subs from the “New Yorker” Pizza place and they were very delicious! We watched some Tv together. We had really a great time for a change!!!

THis evening when I came home from work my hubby informed me that we have now this stupid little tiny ants in our upstairs bathroom. I just dont know anymore what to do. This little creatures where on my kitchen counter twice as well as on the kitchen window twice. I had them multiple times on my kitchen floor and now we have them upstairs in the bathroom.
Does anyone have a remedy for it???
I been using a product called “Hot Shot” for ant and roaches. It works instantly but they keep on coming back after a while. Wy do I keep getting them???

Well you all I am off to cook some food for tomorrow

You all have a blessed evening

In His Grip
Andrea

Ok, I know my hubby for about 20 years…….ouch ouch ouch, did I just say (type) 20 years…Oh my goodness thats a long time isnt it? Oh, my 20 years.
I just shocked myself with that!!!!!

Phew!!!!

Anyways, wow I cant believe it 20 years.
So he never ever shed a tear or was even close to it. And now he cries all the time. I understand it, dont get me wrong. What bothered me was…..that he lashed out at me couple days ago, when he said……..

“Why is there never anything in the fridge” (just go back a couple post and you can read it there) and “why is she sleeping, whats her problem” (AGAIN go back a couple posts and read it)

But to my amazement, when he was at work last night, he called me at his breaktime and apologized to me. I COULDNT BELIEVE IT!
It was more like, “I didnt mean what I said, and you know I know you didnt feel good, and we always have more than enough food in the fridge” WOW

My husband NEVER apologized for nothing, like he never cried.
What a change!

So last night I talked to his sister, and I told her about his crying and stuff. And she was as surprised as I was the first few times. She also cant understand that he is so shaken, but she understands as well and is happy that he is with me. She told me she has her moments perhaps twice a week where she feels sad and /or cries but thats it, not like my husband every day.
I also told her what he said about Church and Jesus, and that he has no purpose or hope anymore.
And she told me that she joined a church where she lives and that it gives her great comfort now. So she told me, that when he calls her on wednesday she will have a talk with him about how the church and espcially God is helping her in this time of need! And that he should go with me or at least speak to a pastor.
Also my pastor’s wife offered that my hubby could talk to her husband even if it is just to vent about why Jesus took his mom away.

I tell you my husband is a very rational man and understood all his life that one day everybody will leave this world. But NOW he dont understand it anymore.
I know that God will comfort him, if he just turns towards Him.

So my prayer is that you all pray for him. That he will go and talk to my pastor or any pastor and will understand why and where his mom is.

I was hurt by what he said the last couple a days, but I also know people who love you and know you love them will hurt you, because they know you are safe they can vent and do other stuff, you know what I mean?
He hurt me but he knows I am not getting mad or run off, I am here for him no matter what. And I know he dont hurt me on purpose he just had to vent his anger and redirected it towards me.

Thats all for now
Andrea

I am on an emailing list at Barnett’s, and today I received this email. I want to share it with everyone, because I know I need to hear that from time to time too! Isnt it wonderful and a priviledge to serve our Lord Jesus? Isnt He just awesome with what He done for us? How he went through this all alone, without his friends, without His Father? I was just amazed that this email came at thr right time in my life again. Yes, we all know what happened to Jesus, Yes even the unbelievers know that. But for whatever reason it just quickened my heart to read it.” HE WILL NEVER LEAVE US, NOR FORSAKE US!” WOAH, what a statement! 

 So there, I copied it for you guys too! Let me know your thoughts when you read that!

No believer should ever have to feel lonely because of the many brothers and sisters in Christ that he or she has, yet for one reason or another, it is possible to feel intensely alone at times. Perhaps a person is recently widowed. Maybe a house full of children is suddenly empty as the children move away to start their own lives. Perhaps a spouse abandons the other or emotionally checks out on the relationship. Maybe none of the other kids at school accept a lone individual who becomes an outcast. Then again, maybe society looks down on a certain person because of race, age, past experiences, etc. The world can be a lonely place. Life brings with it its share of betrayals, griefs, and losses. Friends move away or friends just change and go their own way. In a world of such flux and uncertainty, how can we be assured that we will never deal with unceasing, oppressive loneliness? Surely, even as believers, as circumstances change, we might feel lonely at times, but the issue is how do we press on and move on? How do we go from a steady agony of aloneness to a feeling of peace and security? The answer may be as God provides us brothers and sisters to encourage us, and He will always give us what we need and never more than we can handle by His grace. But even when it seems that we are on an island with no one but ourselves to keep us company, there is still hope. Even if we were isolated in a solitary prison cell because of our faith for Christ, we could have companionship. Even if the masses misjudge us and abandon us, we can still have a Friend who is closer than a brother. Whether an orphan, a widow, alone in a nursing home, or alone in a crowd of admirers, true friendship is possible through our Savior Jesus Christ. At all times and in all places and situations, He will be there for His children. Such is our privilege as a child of God. How and why is this possible?

As Christ died on the cross for us because of His great love for us, He suffered in a way that was likely far greater than any of the bodily abuse and mutilation that He had to endure: His own Father forsook Him (Matthew 27:46). The word for forsaken means just that, abandoned, left alone, left helpless, left behind, and deserted. Because the sins of the world were placed upon Christ (Isaiah 53:6), God the Father could no longer look upon His Son. He had to let Him go and let Him die. Such was His good and perfect plan because He would soon raise Him from the dead in victory, having conquered sin and death so that we could be free in Him. But for the time being, Jesus suffered in a way that we cannot even begin to fathom. This was God in the flesh, and His own Father, Whom He was One with, deserted Him. There cannot be a greater feeling of being alone than Jesus felt on the cross as He was dying. This is just one of the ways in which we have a Savior Who can sympathize with what we have to face and endure (Hebrews 4:15). He knew what it was to be alone. The disciples scattered as the Shepherd was struck (Mark 14:27). Rome had no love for Him. The Jews hated Him. His brothers and sisters didn’t receive Him as Messiah. He was rejected across the board, and then to top it off, He had to be rejected by the Father Himself. There is no greater loneliness than this. Indeed, our Savior understands when we feel alone.

Perhaps this is why He is so adamant that we remember that we are never left alone. In Hebrews 13:5, we read, “I WILL NEVER DESERT YOU, NOR WILL I EVER FORSAKE YOU.” He was left and forsaken so that God would never have to leave us. Once saved, we would always be His, and nothing and no one could ever snatch us out of His hand (John 10:28-29). Not only this, but God is not afar off. He, even the Father Himself, let alone Christ and the Spirit, has made His abode within our hearts (John 14:23). God, Who cannot be confined and Who fills all things, has decided that those who put their faith in Christ will be His dwelling place. So God is never far away or somewhere out there for the child of God. He is always near, here, and in our hearts. We are never alone, and never will we be abandoned. The Shepherd will never leave His sheep. As Psalm 23:4 says, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.” Jesus has all authority, and it is His decree that He will be in us and always with us. Praise God for His constant friendship and perfect companionship!

If we feel alone even though we have God in our hearts, we need to draw near to Him because He promises to then draw near to us (James 4:8). If God seems far away, maybe it is because the devil is tricking us into thinking that way. Maybe we have let our feelings begin to inform our minds that God is absent, when of course, our feelings are leading us astray. We need to think through why we might be feeling apart from God because God never leaves us. Thus, if He feels distant, it is our move to draw near. We should take some time to praise Him, to pray to Him, to hear Him as we read His Word, and to call out to Him. If we have sin, we need to deal with it because God won’t hear our prayers otherwise (Psalm 66:18).

Let us not be duped by the devil into thinking that God has abandoned us or given up on us. He doesn’t do that. Jonah ran from God, but even a child can understand that he could never get away from God. David said that there was no place He could run where God wasn’t already there. Not even darkness could hide him from God (Psalm 139:7-12). God is always there, and He is in our hearts as believers. We need to take comfort in His nearness, believing Him to be close and cultivating our relationship and friendship with Him. Psalm 73:28 says, “But as for me, the nearness of God is my good; I have made the Lord GOD my refuge, that I may tell of all Your works.” It is by faith that we are to choose to believe that God is near and that He is our refuge. He is near, and He is our refuge. The only question is will we take our refuge in Him and believe that He is indeed near. May it be, Lord, may it be.

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Brent Barnett is founder and author of the Bible teaching ministry called Relevant Bible Teaching, found on the web at www.relevantbibleteaching.com.  He has authored Catch Fire: A Call to Spiritual Awakening, a book which calls the church to pursue personal and corporate revival Biblically.  Brent’s greatest joys in life are his wife Sarah and his daughter Anneke. 

The passed few days are filled with hard work, and sadness.

My job is very demanding, but thats ok. I like been busy when I am working so time will pass. I never liked jobs were you just sit up your time, you know. But this one is high energy and if anyone knows me they know I am not a high energy person
But I am now!!!

But at home the situation that I thought is getting under control seems to be spinning out of control.
My husband told me a few days ago that he sees no purpose in his life nor does he see any hope. And this little statement had a huge impact on me.  I know it has been only 6 weeks since he mom’s passing, but I thought he should be out of the daily crying thing. And found out, he cries as much if not more now. I caught and asked him and he said he does that every day either when I am at work or when he is off from work and I am asleep. I just dont know how to help him, but hold him.
I am very very concerned about him.

On the other hand he really made me mad this morning.
I went to bed at about 11 pm and woke up at 4am with pressure right above the ribcage, it was so bad at the time I couldnt go back to sleep, so I got up.
WHen I came downstairs he even asked “Why are you up?” Anyways, after a little while I tried to fall asleep on the couch. As I layed there (by now it is 7am and my son is downstairs) my husband said ” I dont understand that we have no food in the fridge” Well I wont elaborate on that but tell you guys, my fridge is full! You can go and grab food and toss it in the microwave and I bet you you could feed several people.
Than he said,”I dont know from what SHE is so tired?” Can you believe this????????

He knows I am getting used to my job and I worked two full days, plus UHMMMM I am not feeling well!

I just layed there and didnt say nothing, but a little later when he went to bed I told him. He said ” He ddint mean that or said that” RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am here for him 24/7 and this is what I get? I think I am the person who loves him the most now since his mom is gone, and he starts stuff with me?

I know you all say now, well people who go through pain like he does, hurt the people who love them the most. I understand, but I tell you all what………….

I DONT LIKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am in pain myself physically and emotionally. I spoke with my mom a few days ago and she could hardly speak. She had a hard time breathing  while she was talking.
She were at the hospital for another throat cancer test and the tumor has grown back. So now she goes on Wednesday back to the hospital and on Thursday she has again surgery on it. When I told my husband about it, he didnt have a word to say. Not even a word of comfort for me. Its like my feelings are sooo unimportant.

I pray constantly it seems like my whole days are filled in prayer. I hope that people dont think I lose my marbles if they perhaps caught me moving my lips while I walk around at the job    (You know you all seen the people who talk to themselves.) Well I dont talk to myself I pray and I try not to make it public, but you never know I might do the “lip moving ” thing 

So back to this morning……
I went to church but stood there only a few minutes, because of the way I feel. My stomach is churning, and I went home. I been laying on the couch every since until now. I slept for about three hours this afternoon. My stomach is still feeling the same, and the pressure above my ribcage hasnt changed.

You all ask like the people from church “Why did she go?” Well I didnt want the devil to win this one, he tried last week for me not to go to church but I went. And I thought  Watch when I am in church I feel better, but no I did not.

Well I feel bad right now,, so I close this post.

Blessings to all
Andrea

PS Pray for us!!

It has been a ride the passed few days, since I got the new job.

First of all, I have two blisters and they are driving me insane painwise. I love the new job, even though it comes with some head butting with the new coworkers, but its ok. I will give it some time so they can adjust by me been on their team.

The wrosest thing are the blisters though, it is so painful. And I have to run on my feet the whole time I am working, there are very few minutes where I can stand still.
I tried the blister patch from the pharmacy without relief. I soak em in warm water and no relief. So tomorrow I will go to a shoe store and see if they have some comfortable, cushioned shoes I can wear at work.

Also tomorrow I have an appointment at the hospital for my EKG, and after that I will be shoe hunting, cause I know i will not be able to go through a weekend running with those blisters. Please pray for me,that the pain goes away!

My husband is still devastated by the loss of his mom, which is normal and it is only 5 weeks ago that she passed. But now he talks things like tonight on the phone at his 15 minute break……….he said ” I dont care nomore where I go after this life. I dont worry about it anymore” I told him, he should worry cause he wants to be where people are that left this world and moved on to heaven and are waiting for him. But he says “I dont worry anymore”

This is a bit frightening to me. I just dont know how to read him anymore. Is everything nomore of interest to him, or what?
I know it will take months before the first grieving will pass, but I am afraid this is hitting him deeper than it should. On the other hand I never been around anyone who lost their mother.
I give it to my Lord to take care of him and turn his heart around, thats all I can do. But in between it worries me.

Otherwise nothing happened in my life. But those Blisters!!!!!!!!!! OUCH!

Love you all
Andrea

Even though Satan kept bombarding me with reasons why I couldnt and shouldnt go to Church this Morning, I went. I will not give him the upper hand. No, no, no!

And I am glad I did. The message from our Pastor was one of his best again

Colossians 1:17-20
“And He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together. And He is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything He might be preeminent. For in Him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through Him to reconcile to Himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of His cross.”

He explained the christian life like a jigsaw puzzle. That it isnt about the single pieces that make the puzzle but about the puzzle itself. So it isnt about me, but about Jesus!
I am just one of the pieces.
Jesus is not a piece of the puzzle but the puzzle itself.
He is not part of your life, but the Life itself.
If Jesus is only part of the puzzle or part of your life, than it is about you, not about Him.
But it should be about Jesus, therefore Jesus is the puzzle.

Look at the puzzle like this…………..

when I first put a puzzle together, I look for the borders first. The borders in our life are the homelife, eduation, ect.. The heart of the puzzle is the picture itself.
The same with our Christian life, Jesus has to be at the heart of it. Everything else is just revolving around the heart.
We have to understand that we are existing for God and not God for us! We have to fit into His paln, not He in ours!

Therefore we need to spend time with God and not when it is convenient or when we in a jam, but ALWAYS. Yes there are things you would like to do, but give the Lord your time first. Give Him your first fruits, your time, your desires, your joy. Give Him your fears, and worries before you go off and try to deal with it yourself. In everything come to Him first!
If you dont, you show that it is not about HIS Kingdom, but YOURS.

For example my disappointment with work in my earlier post. It isnt about me, not even at the workplace, it is always about God. Do your/ my job at Wal-mart or wherever else for His Glory not yours or mine. Do this job with all your might, strength, power, and soul. Do it like you would directly work for the Almighty in His Kingdom, because thats what it is. You might dont see it this way right now at this moment but think about it!

Pastor David pointed out a very important point……..

Are we willing to lay down our Kingdom, and work for God’s Kingdom???

Are we willing to pick up the cause of Christ???

Hmmmmm

When you read and pray the Lords Prayer what is most important in my opinion is “Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors”

In my Lifetime I had many people who did hurtful things to me and I resented them for a long time.
But after coming to Christ I saw things in a different light. God did a mighty work in me and He brought people and what they did to me back into my mind.
Some were very little annoying things people did to me and I forgot them already for a  long time. Some hurtful things were more recently and every now and than I thought about it and wondered why people do such things to others.
And than, I wondered why are all these things popping in my mind. I tried hard not to think of them and now since I am a christian they just keep popping up and I try to push them back. But it didnt take me long to discover the the Lord is working in me and changing my heart. And that I need to forgive these people. And only after I forgive I can release it and lift this burden off of me.

And than I heard of Corrie Ten Boom who was held captive by the Nazis. (Read the book)
After she was freed she went allover Germany to preach. She made it her life mission to preach forgiveness.
Since jewish people were so brutalized in that time, they carried lots of resentment in their hearts towards the ones that hurt them, and she didnt want that they keep on resenting and hurting themselves by doing so.

So she went on to preach allover Germany and one Sunday mornign she preached in a church in Munich Germany.
After the service a man walked towards her to greet her. She recognised him right away. She remembered how her, her sister, and other female prisoners were forced to take  showers while this Man who came up to her, taunted her in her naked helplessness. This man had taken great joy in his cruelty towards her sister Betsy.
When he stood in front of her he said ” It is wonderful that Jesus forgives all our sins just as you said in your sermon. I was a guard in the camp you were and since became a christian. I know that God forgiven me. But I would like to hear it from you as well. Will you forgive me?”

Corrie stood paralyzed, she could not forgive. Her sister Betsy had died at the hands of this man. At the same time she was ashamed that she preached forgiveness but she couldnt forgive him.
So she looked up to Heaven and in her mind she said ” Almighty Father forgive me, because I can not forgive this man”.
And immediatly she felt the Forgiveness from God and she disnt know what happened but she found herself reaching for the man’s hand and saying ” You are forgiven!”
And immediatly the SS Man was set free.
And Corrie said “But thats not all, I felt the burden lifted off of me, and I was set free”

God put Forgiveness in our hearts. When we forgive, resentment goes away. When we understand that we are all sinners, and that He in His Grace reached down and forgives us, than out of that we can forgive others.

By the Grace of God, while there is still time, why dont you deal with your bitterness, resentment against a spouse, a family member, a coworker, a superior, before it deals with you.
Think it through. You might think you were treated unfairly, were abused, neglected, ect. But wasnt Jesus unfairly treatedd, abused, and neglected?

Talk it over with the Lord in prayer. And think about how much the Lord has forgiven you.

Take a bath in the Grace of God and you will have the power to deal with the resentment that has build up in your heart.
We forgive other people with the Forgiveness we ourselves have been forgiven.
And after you talked it over with God, just give it up. Release it, dont hang on to it.

This part of the Lord’s Prayer is repeated in
Matthew 6:14-15

“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive yours. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive you”

We are the children of God, so the traits are in us. And if we forgive others what they have done, we show truly that we belong to God!

Ephesians 4:32

“And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving oen another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”

So the next time when you pray the Lord’s Prayer, think about who you forgot to forgive!

Above this cute cat looks almost like mine. She wants that beetle dont she???

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Well it has been a ride the last three days. The new job is taking its toll on my overweight body

I never ran so much in the last few years than in these past days. I ran so much so that I have two blisters on the bottom of my feet. Also, my hips, my back, my thighs, as well as my feet are killing me. It is ok while I am at work but when you sit down, it is soooo hard to get back up!
After I get home and sit for a while, thats when it really kicks in. I just have to get used to it, thats all.

But I love the new position!!!!

Today was the first time and opefully the last time that satan tempted me. I was actually contemplating (if thats the right word) to not go to church. Because I am in so much pain right now. But I didnt let him win. I got up and soon I will go and get myself ready for church. But he tried to let me feel my pain so much that I was about to fall for his snare and stood at home.
No way Satan, get behind me! I serve only one master and you are not it!!!

About the job, well most of the new co-workers are great and helpful and friendly, but yesterday I had to work with two they werent to happy that I am one of their own now so to speak. Before they were above me, and now I am equal and it seems they dont like it. Like they would hug the schedule so I couldnt direct cashiers to registers, and they would hug the “palm pilot” so I couldnt answer no pages from cashiers. But oh well I had to deal with that only for an hour. So I made myself useful by directing traffic on the checkout lanes. And hopped on a register when I saw the lines got to long.
And it is not like I have to work with them daily. Only sometimes. Yes, I admit I was dissapointed because before they were really nice to me, but for some reason they are not anymore

So how do you guys like my new wallpaper here???

I tried different ones that wordpress offers, but my pictures just wont fit in most of those frames, so I went to the classic old wordpress theme. I actually like it!

Soon  perhaps today I will add more Hymns to the Video corner.
Also, I dont know how much blogging I will do when the new work schedule kicks in, I think I will blog like always but I dont know for sure yet.

Anyways, you all have a blessed day in the Lord, and I hope I blog some more tonight!

Love you all
Andrea

CONGRATULATIONS for being  the 20,000 visitor to my blog !!!

And here is your gift………………….  

From the heart ….

   ((((((((((((((((      ADAM     ))))))))))))))))))….a big fat hug

Thank you so much to all the readers of my blog, it is you who makes this blog what it is. I am just writing down my feelings, my daily life, and how I live day by day with the Lord.

I praise God right now this very moment for loving me, caring for me, and giving me sooo much!

All praise to my Father in Heaven!