HeAintThroughWithMeYet

Hello Everyone!!!!

I was planning to be in Biblestudy tonight at the Church House BUT…they didnt meet and so I went back home

Lately I am reading a lot. I printed out the whole commentary of the Gospel of Mark and yesterday I printed out the Book of Jonah. So I am pretty busy. I have to do this, because it never fails I sit in study and I get asked a question and I have absolutly no clue. I AM CLUELESS!!!

Than as you all know I am working fulltime now, so when I get home I still get my husbands food ready and till he leaves I am slowly starting to get tired. And the little time I have left for me, I drive. Did I mention I drive
Yep, I love the new car. I love the truck too, but I love the new one
So thats why I thought well, I can go to the wednesday night study group. And well you guys know the rest.
My Mom on the other hand was twice in the hospital since I posted last. I think it has been now three times they removed nails and put new ones in. And now she was back for removal of two nails, and they made her a partial cast for only that part. I come to believe they dont know what to do anymore you know.
The Church came through AGAIN, and made a gift to my Mom. And this week I will get it all together and than go by either the Pastor or the group leader and let them help me mail it. Just so they know that the money goes where it supposed to go. I dont like doing this by myself. Its a whatchamacallit issue!

And than I drive!

work well they booked me two weeks for fulltime and than they put it back to 4 to 5 hours. So here too I am AGAIN in issues with management, but it cant really be solved until the store manager gets back from vacation next week.

As you all know everytime something really good happens, something really bad happens to me too. Like the other annoying stuff doesnt count! I lost my green card. And my social Security card. So at first I was upset, but than I thought well it cant cost the world to replace it, well I was wrong, it doesnt cost the world , but I have to pay the full fee like when I do a ten year renewal. Than again I thought well if I have to pay all this I could go right away for citizenship…Wrong again…you cant apply for citizenship if you dont have a green card. To drag that out a bit more, I cant apply for a replacement of my SS card until I can show the a green card too. YUCK!!!

I guess I wait a few weeks with that now, not that I can. By law I have to carry a green card on me 24/7. But the law aint paying for it either, right. So this has to wait a bit.

But I tell you what, I am not used to staying on that register for 8 hours…lol…my feet are hurting and they are so swollen. I really have to get used to it, so the little break where they cut the hours is something to look forward to, but not financially. I am pretty sure the manager and I can work something out. As of right now I couldnt even leave Wally-World since no one would hire me without a green card. The circle of Life

And still God is good! I love Him and He loves me. And lately I feel I get much closer to Him, like there was a stand still but it picked back up. You ever have that?
Well I did. And its a real drag. When you really want to feel His closeness, and dont feel it. And I know we shouldnt go by feelings, but it is nice to have “This” feeling! You all know what I am talking about, right?

And on that note, I sign off. In Hope that you all leave plenty of comments!!!!!

Have a wonderful blessed evening
Andrea

I am still around and just had nothing much to say lately but I am back! And I just read this today, actually a few minutes ago and thought I share this with everyone.

Have you ever been in a place of utter confusion, hopelessness, or despair? Have you ever felt like giving up or giving in to sin? Perhaps discouragement has crashed in, or circumstances have driven your face into the dirt. Perhaps you just can’t keep from hanging your head because you are so down, depressed, and dejected. What do we do if we find ourselves in a pit of despair or a filthy mire of our own making? Where do we go when all seems lost and there seems to be no way out? Does hope remain, or is God distant and a mere giver of empty promises or promises that hold true for somebody else but not us? The declaration to us from God’s Word is that God is faithful always (2 Corinthians 1:18). He is good, and there is no place, time, situation, or circumstance where He will abandon His children. Life can get too hard for us, but nothing is too hard for Him. Even when the trials and tribulations persist and we feel like we have no strength left, still God’s heart toward us is good.

-Brent Barnett

 Hi everyone,

just wanted to give you all an update about the “Walk For Life” I attended.
I just received an email from the Blue Ridge Women Center and you can see we got a bunch of moeny together for the first time. Isnt that just wonderful?
Read below what he wrote!

Andrea,

 I guess I need to let people know about the supporter web page!  So sorry.  You can find it at www.supportblueridge.org .  Then click on the news and events tab.   Take a look there are also some photos of the event.   Just to update you on the amount pledged is now at $28,000.    We still have sponsor sheets being turned in.

Our God has done a wonderful miracle for our first walk!  Thank you for your help and participation!

Tom Clark

CEO / President

Blue Ridge Women’s Center

As you all know my Mom isnt doing to good, so here I wanted to give you all an update. She was hospitalized AGAIN on last Monday a week ago. The doctor said those nails/pins have to be removed permanently because they keep giving her gangreen (if I spelled it right). Well when she got to the Hospital, the Surgeon said there are no other alternatives but one. They either have to redrill holes again and put nails/pins in it, or they have to amputate the arm.
My Mom said she went for the Nails again of course, but they also told her that they dont know how many more times they can redrill holes in her arm, because of her severe osteoporosis. The arm is totally shattered.
Well you all know she is on the verge of having absolutly no money, so if you can help her please email me, and we will work something out.

She came back home today after being a week in the hospital. Lets see how long this will last or if those pins finally are able to saty in there for the total time.

But you know what….she still keeps her spirits up. She told me she was reading everyday and night in her little Bible, and even prayes every day. (if anyone would know my Mom they would be stunned to read this)And she told me that she quoted from her Bible to her Sister she was saying Ecclesiastes 7:1-4
She is something I tell you.
When she wasnt sick and I had more money she was here often. And she told us all the War stories. My Mom lived through the WWII fully knowing what was going on she was already 10 years old when the War started.
Today she told me, ” You know Andrea, I have this bad bones because of all the Hunger I went through in the War. We never had enough food, and especially not nourishing food. There were many days up on days without food.”
It is sad to hear that when we live in such an abundance now.
And I believe that this truly has something to do with her bad health.
And now she is going through another season of not having enough even though it is available in the stores, she doesnt have the monetary means to obtain it. My Mom cried one time on the phone a couple of weeks ago about her finances, but this is very rare. She is always concerned that we have enough to eat and pay our bills.
Well perhaps my Church can help, I know my Father sees it all, and somehow help will come her way!

Please keep her in your Prayers.

Love and Blessings
Andrea

Our Church started this passed Sunday a new Member Class. It is on Sundays from 8:30am to 9:30am. And I thought I will take it since when I joined the Church we didnt have classes like this. And it is also a reason to accompany Suzanne.
But I have to say I struggled a bit to get up an extra hour early. I told my husband to wake me up at 5:30am. See, when I go anywhere work, church, ect. I have to get up at least two hours prior. I need my coffee and a bit time. I am not a bad morning person but more of a relaxed one. So I need that time to really wake up and than get going

Well anyways I went and must say it is very informative.
It is made up of 4 meetings the first one was about
Being a Christian, and What is the Gospel?
The Gospel is NEWS rather than instructions, it means the Good News or Good Message. Christianity is unique because it is a message. And that message is primarily about the person and work of Jesus Christ.
The Gospel is grace rather than merit. The Gospel is ” Iam accepted through Christ, therefore I obey.” Religion on the other hand says ” I obey, therefore I am accepted.”
The Gospel is unique GAL. 1:1-9
The Gospel says we are justified by faith alone. GAL. 2:11-16

The Gospel puts justification and sanctification in proper perspective
1). The good news is God loves me in spite of myself for Jesus sake.
2). My incentive now for living a life of obedience is not to win God’s approval. 
     I serve Him because He has already accepted me in Christ.
3). Now when I repent/turn from my sin, I do so because I see Jesus as more
     valuable/pleasurable than my sin.

So that was my first lesson, and on the following three Sundays we will talk about “Belonging to a Reformed Church”, ” Belonging to the ARPC”, “Belonging to Wellspring Presbyterian Church“

I know I will attend them all, since my need for everything to know is so strong!

Well thats all for now, just wanted to share with you all what I am doing!

Love Andrea

Today is a nice day outside as much as I can observe it from the Livingroom

I received the Car on Friday afternoon. I went to the Church house and the Pastor gave me the keys. It is a white Oldsmobile Achieva 1996. It has a few little dents on the side and one on the trunk but it still is a beauty and it had a “FULL TANK OF GAS” and it runs real smooth
So I pick up the car and of course I had to drive it. So I drove all around and home to pick up my husband so he could pick up our truck from Wal-Mart parking lot. Than I went to the small group meeting and well there was a little sign on on the dashboard and I couldnt figure out what it was about. So Chris the Group Leader and our Friend Mark went with me to the car to look at it. Well they told me its the External Track System light. And I just needed to adjust a button and it was fine. But then another light came on. A red light saying “Check Gages” hmmmmmm

What now I said. And they said to me you need to get gas. I said NO, the tank is full. And then I saw it………the gage on the truck is totally the opposite then on the car. When I thought I had a full tank, I actually had an almost empty tank…

No problem after small group I filled it up. Well ever since I am driving, and driving and drive some more.

So on Sunday I drove to Church in my new car
I bought a card and thanked everyone for loving and caring for me and my family. And the Pastor read it before the Congregation and afterward gave me a hug, and the people clapped their hands. I am so stunned that our Church is so helpful, and kind.

And it really doesnt matter where you come from and where your going as long as you love Jesus.

And as always it was grrrrrrrrrrreat! And the Pastor talked about Jesus is able to sympathize with our weaknesses. And that we always need Jesus. if you have the worst day in your life or your best day. You have to be connected to Jesus and in need of him at all times.
Dont get astray when you in your best of times here on earth. Dont go astray when your facing the worst day of your life.

Be consistent with Jesus.

Like me even in my bad days I am praising God because whatever happens to me, it will work out for good. And now in one of my best days of my Life, I wont let go of Jesus. I need him today as much as I needed him yesterday, and as much as I will need him tomorrow!
I love Jesus more than anything else in my Life. He gave me Life, a Life I never had before. Even though through my childhood I had Great times, rich (moneywise) times, there was always something missing. A void, a blank ,something I just couldnt fill in. I never knew what it was until I met the people from the small group including the Pastor and his wife and than later the Church itself. Thats when my total need was met, the need of Jesus. Thats where I met Him. HE is SOOO good to me! He filled that void, that no cigarette, food, love from anyone on earth, entertainment, or anything else can fill.
He called me, and I am so happy to be his. I’ll never forget what he has done for me, and through me, and I will never leave him.

So also in your bad times, dont put God to the test. But cling even closer to Him. Be faithful, as he is faithful to you. Dont get lead astray by other people who might say things like “Why does your God not move this mountain for you?” Just refer them to Matthew 4:1-11
Jesus went through all the temptations, sufferings, trials, tribulations as we do now in our Life.
So cling to Jesus, pray to Him, praise Him even in the midst of your storm.

And if you have a splendid great day, cling to Jesus and praise Him, Thank Him.
You are never to low, and depleated, and out of it, that Jesus cant reach you. Never will you have a high so so great that you dont need Jesus.

So look that you are in a Church that is sympathetic to your needs, as mine is to me. That is listening, understanding, open and honest in dealing with you. I know it is hard to find a Church as the one I belong to, there is only one Pastor David and wife. But there are good ones out there you just have to seek and find.

And another thing that came to mind after Church when I was at Lunch with Suzanne and Silvia yesterday.
You know it is said to take a “Leap of Faith”. Well I never knew I did that. But I realised yesterday that I did take that “Leap of Faith” when my managers at Wal-Mart offered me more hours,but only from 8am to 4pm. See the 8am was very questionable if I can be there that early without a second car. Because sometimes my husband doesnt get home till shortly before 8am. So when I broke the news about the hours to my husband he wasnt to happy that I accepted it. Because he thought I might run late a few times and then get fired.
But see my faith is in Christ,and I knew somehow we make it. And dont you know my first day working 8-4 was on Saturday and I received the car on Friday. See He came through for me, because I put my faith in Him and in nothing else.
That is also why I know that we will get some financial help for my Mom. He is faithful, and he will stirr peoples hearts and than there will be some help for my Mom.

Today I am busting with excitement or however you might say it. I am just happy all the way around, except for the hurt about my Mom in Germany!

So I wont be writing a lot but since I put my sad stories on here, I think you guys also need to read the Blessings that is coming my way.

Well Pastor David and I just telephoned and he told me that he and the deacons are working on giving my Mom some finacial support in her time of need.
First of all I hgot to say THANK YOU. Secondly this truly shows that our Church is extra ordinary because they not only say we want to preach the Gospel throughout our community and our City, we also say to the World. And by helping someone they might never meet, a person that lives somewhere in Germany, I think this deserves to be known. I am totally amazed about this!!!!

And he also informed me, that the car he spoke to me about will be ready this week for me to have. He thinks it will be Sunday. But than he said ‘You know what, I call them up right now, and I ‘ll call you back this evening” Isnt that something?

I appreciate this soooo much, you guys have no idea. But perhaps you do, since I put my whole life online…LOL

See I wasnt going to ask anything of my Church nomore, since they helped me so freely with a lot of things that I mentioned in earlier posts. But the Pastor just told me, that this is wrong, that I should come and ask. If the Church can help, they will he said! That I am an inspiration and that I grew so much since I came to the Church. That I learned a lot!

Than I also have to give a “Shout-out” to Satiesfied Housewife with her emails she send me with help for studies, and with her latest comment on my blog. I took it to heart and printed out the entire commentary from Matthew Henry on the Gopsel of Mark. And now I can start newly to read trough Mark with the Commentary right beside me.

I am so thankful to God for all the people he brings into my Life. Because He knows how much I want to learn his ways and walk with Him. And with all the help from all this people I will learn more and maybe someday I am ready for Meat.

Also I want to write about a Praise, Katy from Katysblog is doing so well right now. She had another remicade treatment and supposedly is doing really good. Let’s all pray that it continues!!!

Well perhaps one day I am able to write like all of you.

Thanks a bunch. Love and lots of Blessings

Andrea

What a great Title for my Post, eh?

Well, I took the advice from Satiesfied Housewife. But since I am a bit lazy to sit here and read, I decided to print out the whole commentary from Matthew Henry about the Gospel of Mark.
Needless to say after Chapter 5 the cartridge is empty and now I have to wait till tomorrow to get one and keep on printing.
I do think however that this will help me, what you think?

I decided to start to print, and study in Mark, since this is the Study we do in our Discovery Group.

Today was a pretty ok day for me, compare to the last few days. On the other hand I havent spoken to my Mom yet. She is still in the hospital and I cant call there, cause they wont give you any info anyways. It is very difficult to get info from the hospital and it is very costly since they put you on hold for long periods.
So I have to wait it out. And I know that God is taking care of her, and that is a great comfort to me.

When I was in Church on Sunday, one of my Sistas in Christ her name is Donna, gave me a book called ” The Bible Answer Book” by Hank Hanegraaff. This is a little book I would say the measurement is about 5×8, but it is packed with answers. I thik this is a book that makes a great gift. I like it, and I think it is very neat. I havent checked if Amazon carries that, so check it yourself if your interested. Its really cool!

The Carpet Cleaing Machine that Suzanne loaned me still sits in my Livingroom untouched.
I have to wait till the weekend to do this job. Like I said this is not like vaccuming.

What I also wanted to say……I really miss Chris, he is my small group leader and usually he comments or something, but lately I havent heard from him at all!!!
CHRIS whats up?????

Well this is all for today, I get back into my Bible now
Have to do more reading, even though I dont understand half of it, I wont give up.

So till next time

Love and Blessings
Andrea

Lately I feel very down. Perhaps it is because of my Mom? Perhaps it is because it seems like everytime I turn around another problem arises.

I am reading the Word daily and a lot. And still I dont get it. Than again, I could read even online commentaries but Honestly I am to lazy. I get frustrated with not understanding, do you guys understand that?

Anyways, I am not giving up. I know God loves me, and in His time perhaps He will open my eyes, or send someone to open my eyes. Someone who make me understand it more. I am totally amazed when I sit for example in Church and my Pastor teaches and explains stuff from the Bible. I read he same thing, I dont know where my Pastor get this stuff from. It is amazing to me, how he stands in front of us and teaches. I read the same thing and I am nowhere near to his explanations.
The same in small group, our Leader Chris, teaches and illustrates, I dont know where he sees the stuff in the Bible and again I am reading the same thing.

I know you say read small parts, I did and still same results. That makes me feel so incompetent.
Also reading Timbob’s blog. Satiesfied Housewife, Faithwalk, just to name a few. I dont know how they can explain things, when I read the same passages in the Bible, but I cant come up with NOTHING.

I pray for enlightenment on that one all the time.

Anyways, today Suzanne my friend loaned me her Carpet cleaning machine. My Carpet is so dirty from Idontknow that the vaccuming alone just doesnt do it anymore. So she explained the machine to me, and I played with it for a bit, but I tell you what. I thought you use it like a vaccumcleaner, well YOU DONT!
It takes real time to do it. So I will have to wait like till tomorrow and do my Livingroom. Thats the only room that REALLY needs it done. But you really have to do it S-L-O-W-L-Y.

Also my sista and friend from Church came up with the idea that we have a “helpfund” in the Church and that they might be able to help Mom in Germany. So she called up the Pastor and he will discuss it with the deacons. She suggested for me to call him, but I declined, I said “You call, cause I wont be bothering nobody anymore in Church with my Problems”.

Oh, Oh, I got good news too. When I came to work today I looked at the schedule and YES my Supervisor scheduled me to work 8am to 4pm through a whole week, so he did keep his word on that one. I am so glad about it. We really need this extra income to pay off some bills and get the truck fixed. This is truly a Blessing to me!
I was waiting for so long to get an increase on hours, but as he said he will give those hours only to me for a little while until I have a car (which should happen within the following week) because than I either have to open my availability or he will decrease my hours again to what they were.
So, that was very exciting to see today

Well guys thats all for me today. I am getting back to reading my Bible. Please pray for me so I learn to somehow understand what I am reading. So I can eat Meat and get off of this Milk thing

Blessings to all
Andrea

Oh my this going to be a long post today.
When I woke up this morning I was feeling refreshed and ready to go to Church and just thought this going to be a great day!

So I had a call from my Mom on my voicemail. She stating that she is not feeling to good and that she wants me to call her. So here we go again. I called her and she told me that she has to go back to the hospital to get them pins/nails taking back out. We been through that a couple of weeks ago, when they discovered she had gangreen (dont know if I spelled that right). Than they took them out and redrilled holes and put new ones in.
Now she is in the same predicament. But now the doctors say they have to come out and no new ones come in because they only get infected again. What does her old and fragile body have to sustain now?
The other problem is that she has nomore resources to buy some food or anything. The hospital takes so much out of her little retirement/welfare check that she has hardly anything to live on. So she cried and my hands are tied as well. I just dont have it. Money makes the world go around. I already knew about the money situation two weeks ago, and I emailed one of my Church friends to see if we as a Church could help her? Well at Church we are in the midst of buying a property and trying to raise money for that. And I couldnt possibly ask for help when my name is invloved you know. As I stated in a prior post, people start perhaps getting sick of me..LOL
So the Lady I asked if she thinks their could be some help, thinks that with the fund raising for the property it wouldnt be a good idea to ask to help my Mom.
She suggested to blog about it and see if anyone can come up with suggestions or perhaps feel stirred in their heart to give.
Right now she is out of about 300 euros which is about the same in dollars. And she gets only about 500 euros a month. So there thats a big chunk of money she is missing for all the hospital and prescriptions. Well if anyone feel the need to give, I dont want to collect it myself, but I will gladly give them my Mom’s address and they can mail it directly to her. Of course if you feel to send it to me and I send it to her, thats ok too. I am just on my wits end with all this.

First I needed a car and my Church is on the way of getting one for me within the next two weeks, and here new problems arise.

And then their is Mothersday

To get back to the beginning of the post. So I went to Church and we sang songs, and everything still going ok.
And out of nowhere it came…we sang the song ” Hide Me In Your Holiness”, and I dont know why but my Pastor went in the second row/pew where I was with my Friends and stood beside me singing, and I had to muster up everything inside of me not to start sobbing, but I was crying and singing and thinking all at once. Thinking I hope he (the Pastor) doesnt see me, and my friends to my right neither, and thinking what a Mother and Daughter I am???
and sining a beautiful song all at once all together. Isnt that crazy?

Yes, what kind of Mother am I?
My son is pretty messed up or at least was. He did some things he shoudnt have. We do not have a very close relationship we should have either. It is sad, you know.
Than my Mom she is all alone on Mothersday, yes I do have a brother but he is more interested in his in-laws than in our own Mother. And my Mom did everything she could for us.

See my Parents got married in the late 50’s, and it seems from what I heard they had a great marriage until I came along. From that time on, my Dad cheated on my Mom left and right. Until 1973, thats when my Mom really had enough. She found out that my Dad had a another woman pregnant, so my Mom filed for a divorce. And she didnt accept no money from him, not for me or for her. She said we make it without his money too. And we did. I still saw my Dad of course. And his part of the family. But my Mom who doesnt come from a wealthy background really started from scratch took on all kind of odd jobs just to keep us over water.

The bad thing is from all those jobs she hardly get anything now in her old age. Thats why she is in the situation she is in. And the government give only so much. And it is not much. There are old people in Germany they do not have elctricity or other things because they cant afford it. I always thought of Germany as a great country but lately I realise how bad it actually is.

So anyways, this day should be a great day for Mother’s but for me for some reason it is not. I am deeply in thoughts how to help her, how to rekindle my own relationship with my Son. I have to say though all this years my Son never gave a thing, but he got me this year a little rock for my little aquarium and a card, and I thought that was really really nice. I was just happy about the Card he didnt need to buy me anything else. I just appreciate that he thought of me this day. That was truly a precious gift from him!!!

My husband got me a little plant a “freesia” and a card from him. Isnt that sweet?

I love my Husband very much and I know he loves me too. Even though we never have enough to put anything away or send to my Mom. But he loves me and that is more than anything else money could buy!

Here I sit crying again…lol.
But most of all I know God loves me, and there will be a way to help my Mom. I know somebody out there reads this and has something to share with her. Perhaps someone in Germany reads it, and can help her from there. Or someone here reads it and can help with a little money, who knows!

As usual I give it up to God, he helped me so many times, and nothing NOTHING is impossible for Him!
My Pastor preached on “coming boldly to the Throne and bringing your praises and your supplications to Him” and that is what I am doing. Boldly as ever I ask  Him to be of guidance for me and my Mom. To help her, protect her, and perhaps bring us once more back together so I can see her before she departs from here.
I long so much inside of me to see my Mom, nobody not even my husband knows how sad I am in the inside abut missing her. And not been able to help her right now. She was always there for me. Always!
I think if she could ever come back to the States to visit, this time I wouldnt let her go back home. I am living in the States now over 15 years and you have no idea how many times I went through taking her to the airport and me been a mess for a week or two because I couldnt make her stay here. And the laws prevent us for her to stay for good. But I tell you this time if she could be here I wouldnt let her go. PERIOD!
All these people who make these laws have no idea of what people like me go through.

I have to end this post I cant hardly see out of my eyes. I will write another time more about this. But for now.

To all the Mother’s out there………………….

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY

Love and Blessings
Andrea