MARRIED TO A NON-CHRISTIAN!!!
Hi You all,
well after every high comes a low I guess! 
I had slept hardly last night, since Cookie the cat had surgery (spayed), and she was like a drunk all night but just wouldnt sleep all through the night. She slept a bit and wanted to walk around, she wanted to be real close to me too, so I wasnt able to leave her downstairs in the livingroom where she usually is all by herself. I knew if I go upstairs to bed she would walk up and down, and thats what the doctors said she couldnt do.
So I made my bed on the couch and Cookie layed right beside me on my back. I couldnt turn, and she gave up so much heat. It was hard to sleep. One time I remember she layed right over my forehead. Anyways, I got up at about 5:30am and went to work at 9:00am. When I came home she greeted me at the door as usual. She seems to be much better tonight, but she still is groggy I would say. Understandebly though!
I told on this blog before that I am married to a “believer” that doesnt think he needs to read the Word or go to church, you know this kind. We hardly talk about God. The only time he talks about God with me, is around Easter and Christmas, thats when they show all those movies. He watches them, I guess that is his christianity!!!
But see I am totally involved with readings, small group, and sunday church. And one couple of my small group invited us to their house for saturday to dinner. Wel when I told him he said flat out I am not going. His excuse is, we dont spend enough time with each other. HAHA
Spending time with me means he watches basketball, football, baseball whatever there is some kind of ball flying on the TV screen. I am so disappointed about this, And I did have a hard time to call the couple and tell them we arent coming. Needless to say when he left for his job this evening it was a very cold “see you later” kinda thing!
See, my husband and I were married in 1992 in Ohio, then after cheating on me I left him in April of 1999 and moved to VA to be with mycousin since she is the only Family I have in the USA. We divorced in I believe 2001. I spoke with him maybe once a year on the phone, and on Thanksgiving of 2004 he came to VA to visit me, and well he came back for good on Christmas that year. Which at that time I havent been a christian. After I found my Savior in 2006, I told my then ex-husband we have to get married and he said ok lets get the marriage license and set it up. But he did not want to get married in a church or with a pastor.
To make a long story short, the morning when we supposed to get the License i prayed if God wants me to remarry him, then lets get married right there and than at that office. And we went there and everything went smooth. He was surprised when the clerk said well go this way to that and that room and meet with clerk so and so to get amrried. He said ” No we here to get the license and I said No we are here to get married!” I knew if I wait and try to talk him into getting married by my pastor and go through marriage counseling he would have never got married to me. But I wanted to make it right in front of God and just did it. Now I think about all the time if I did the right thing. Especially now since I get closer on my walk with the Lord and he doesnt want anything to do with Him.
What should I do? I have no idea. When I talk to my friend Jennifer( She is the Pastor’s wife) she says ” he is a hard nut to crack”, give him time”. But still it is eating me up. All the couples at church are their together , and I am married and my husband hasnt even seen the church from the inside. One time he went with me to an event at the Pastor’s house which was on Christmas eve, but already there he put a time limit on us. 
I have to say however he is not cheating on me, and he never treated me bad before besides the cheating, which was bad enough.
So right now we are upset at each other about the same thing but from different points of view, know what I mean?
Anyways I vented and it usually helps me! 
Any suggestions or prayers I can pray over that?
And please pray for us, and also that he will see the light before it is to late for him!
Thanks you all, till tomorrow
In Christ Andrea
Doug said,
February 28, 2007 at 10:10 pm
Hi Andrea…you have a full plate…..You mentioned your small group….are they a good source of counsel and encouragement? @ different times in our lives, God has used other couples, good books on the specfic issue we’re struggling with, a pastor , and even a paid Biblical counselor for encouragement and wisdom on how to handle a situation…
heaintthroughwithmeyet said,
February 28, 2007 at 10:16 pm
Hi Doug, thank you first of all for commenting
Yes I am in a very nice group, and church. If I hadnt found this Pastor I wouldve never became a christian, but he is so great in answering on every issue of life. But you know it is eating me up to have a husband that just dont want to go anywhere, he dont even go anywhere else for that matter. The joke n the house is that he is a ” people hater”
Its just not funny anymore!
In Christ Andrea
Shirley said,
March 1, 2007 at 12:14 am
Dear Andrea,
I am very touched with your plight and am praying that God will give you the strength and the wisdom to deal with your life as it is now.
You must continue to lean on God and on His people. Be very positive with your husband, don’t nag him, but compliment him for every good thing he does. Be loving and kind to him, pamper him and cater to him. If this is hard for you, ask God to help you, and He will.
Whether or not it was God’s will for you to marry this man, I do not know, but since you are now married, it is God’s will for you because of your marriage vows. (I’m not referring to any situation in which a woman would be beaten or anything like that. She should not stay in such a relationship.)
It is not unheard of though, for a man to be won to the Lord, because of his wife’s godly and loving ways. God bless and keep you.
Shirley Buxton
http://www.shirleybuxton.wordpress.com
cumby said,
March 1, 2007 at 1:24 am
My pastor and his wife attended different churches for almost three years. This was when he was an assistant pastor. He prayed to God one day and pointed to the empty seat next to him and asked God to bring his wife to sit beside him in every service.
Every week he would thank God for answering that prayer, even though the seat was still empty. It took almost three years for the answer to come. No nagging or complaining from him to his wife. When you’re in leadership it’s even more embarrassing. So that must have been tough.
He told me to do the same thing but I haven’t obeyed yet. I’ll save that for one of my future posts.
heaintthroughwithmeyet said,
March 1, 2007 at 7:17 am
Shirley, thank you so much for your helpful words. I am not nagging him, but you know BUT he should go sometimes with me anywhere just because.
You have a blessed day!
Andrea
heaintthroughwithmeyet said,
March 1, 2007 at 7:18 am
Cumby, I cant wait for that story!!!
Thanks to you too fo ryour encouraging words.
Love Andrea
Donald B said,
March 1, 2007 at 1:55 pm
Andrea,
The one bit of encouragement I would like to offer you is that you would be surprised to find you are not the only one in your church who struggles with their marriage. We Christians are pretty good about hiding the ugly stuff in our lives. There are probably others in the church who are struggling and hurting just as you are.
Maybe God would lead you to those people so that you can help each other along the way.
Go with God,
Donald B
heaintthroughwithmeyet said,
March 1, 2007 at 3:41 pm
Hi Donald, thank you for stopping by! Thanks for your advice, but dont you think people especially in church should be more forthcoming about their problems? I for my self sure am, I think that it should be shared, so we can help each other and lift each other up!
But you probably right!
Hope you stop by more often and leave me your thoughts
In Christ Andrea
momlovesbeingathome said,
March 1, 2007 at 11:01 pm
Andrea, I can relate to part of your story - when my husband and I got married we were not living our lives for God. I grew up in church and had been a Christian all my life but it was more “Sunday morning Christian” if you know what I mean. My family didn’t necessarily live out their faith during the week. We were a good moral family but we didn’t read the Bible, talk about God, or pray much at home. My husband did not grow up in church and in fact had some pretty sinful influences in his family.
I was away from the Lord when we married so neither of us went to church or anything. After we had our first child I knew I needed to be in church. I started going and every week I nagged and begged him to go with me. Every Sunday morning we would argue - sometimes he would go but most of the time he would not. I finally just quit asking him and my daughter and I went by ourselves. It’s really hard to do but YOU cannot change your husband - only GOD can.
I would recommend not asking him to go but just keep living your life for the Lord. He is going to see God working in your life if he isn’t resenting you for trying to make him have God in his. Follow Shirley’s advice from the previous comment and be the best wife you can be to him.
I tried to do this and my husband eventually realized that he needed God and that he needed to be saved and in church. My husband has since become a pastor. If you knew him and the way he lived his life years ago you would know how truly amazing this is!! God can work miracles in people! Just keep praying that He will work one in your husband.
heaintthroughwithmeyet said,
March 1, 2007 at 11:29 pm
Mom, thank you very much for your comment. And what a story you had to tell WOW! You and Shirley are right, I will show by example and how I treat him. And yes God is the only One who can draw him , not me.
I pray for him and leave it at that!
Thanks again
Love Andrea
julie said,
March 11, 2007 at 7:34 pm
yes well ure storry is quite good and touching but
my husban is not a christian and he beats me repetily but i love him so i cant leave him we have been married 10 years and i cant break that up i love him and i kniow god will change him because god is the god above all gods xo
heaintthroughwithmeyet said,
March 11, 2007 at 7:56 pm
Hi JULIE, thank you for commenting on this subject. I am sorry you are in a abusive relationship. I dont believe that God would want anyone to live like that though. Yes He can change your husband of course, but until than shouldnt you be in a safe place?
You may email me if you so desire!
In Christ Andrea
momlovesbeingathome said,
March 17, 2007 at 11:21 pm
I agree with you Andrea, God would not want someone to stay where they are being abused.
Julie, if you are in danger you need to leave and make sure you and your husband seek help! Don’t stay with someone who is beating you!! If he gets help and stops the abuse THEN you could consider being with him again but you should not expect to be treated like that and think it’s okay because you are married and because you are a Christian.